भारत के कुत्ते

व्यंग्य
भारत में कुत्ते हमेशा से लोकप्रिय रहे हैं, लेकिन इन दिनों उनकी लोकप्रियता चरम सीमा पर है। केरल के मुख्यमंत्री तो उनके ब्राण्ड एम्बेसडर माने जा रहे हैं क्योंकि उन्हें कुत्तों के शेड्यूल के बारे में खासी जानकारी है। कुत्ते कब, कहां जाते हैं – या नहीं जाते हैं, इसका सनसनीखेज रहस्योदघाटन उन्होंने पिछले दिनों एक टीवी चैनल पर किया।
उसके बाद से सारे भारतवासी कुत्तों की चर्चा में जुट गए हैं। “जोश 18” के पाठकों ने अपनी प्रतिक्रियाओं में इतने बार कुत्तों को याद किया कि उसके सामने सचिन के रनों का आकंड़ा कम पड़ गया। सुना है “जोश 18” वाले अमेरिका से सुपर कम्प्यूटर खरीदने की सोच रहे हैं ताकि उनकी साइट पर पिछले 24 घंटों में कितनी बार “कुत्ते” शब्द लिखा गया उसकी गणना की जा सके, और फिर सबसे ज्यादा बार “कुत्ता” शब्द दर्ज करने वाली साइट के रूप में गिनीज बुक ऑफ रेकॉर्ड्स में अपना नाम लिखवा सके।
जोश 18 के पाठकों की प्रतिक्रियाएं देखते हुए लगता है कि कुत्तों का ब्राण्ड एम्बेसडर बनने और केरल के मुख्यमंत्री को तगड़ी होड़ देने और के लिए और भी कई लोग होड़ में हैं। इनमें मुम्बई के श्री राज ठाकरे प्रमुख हैं। जोश 18 के अधिकांश पाठक इस पक्ष में नजर आते हैं कि श्री राज ठाकरे पर इंसान के सबसे वफादार साथी का नाम सबसे ज्यादा फबता है। श्री ठाकरे को इस होड़ में आगे बढ़ाने में उनकी पत्नी इन दिनों जी-तोड़ कोशिश कर रही हैं और काफी सफल होती नजर आ रही हैं। भारत में कुत्तों की अनायास बढ़ी प्रसिद्धि के साथ- साथ कुछ अन्य प्रजातियां भी अचानक बहुत लोकप्रिय हो गई हैं और जनता की बातचीत में उनका नाम बार- बार सुनाई देने लगा है। इनमें प्रमुख हैं “हिजड़े” और “कमीने”। आज तक भारतीय जनता एक- दूसरे को प्यार से “अबे कुत्ते” कह कर पुकारती थी। मुम्बई में हुए आतंकवादी हमलों का यह असर हुआ है कि पहली बार वह अपने सेवकों को भी इसी प्यार से पुकार रही है।
जोश 18 को विश्वस्त सूत्रों से खबर मिली है कि कुछ टीवी चैनल इस समय कुत्तों की प्रतिक्रिया लेने की कोशिश कर रहे हैं ताकि जान सकें कि अपनी इस बढ़ी लोकप्रियता के बारे में कुत्ते क्या सोचते हैं। खबर है कि ये टीवी चैनल कुत्तों का “लाइव इंटरव्यू” दिखाने वाले हैं।
इंतजार जरिए “ब्रेकिंग न्यूज” का।

महाराष्ट्र: नए मुख्यमंत्री का चुनाव आज

04 दिसम्बर 2008 एजेंसियां नयी दिल्ली । कांग्रेस ने कल अंतत. महाराष्ट्र के मुख्यमंत्री विलासराव देशमुख को हटाने का फैसला कर लिया और उन्हें अपना त्यागपत्र राज्यपाल को सौंपने का निर्देश दे दिया।कल दिन में कांग्रेस महासचिव राहुल गांधी ने श्री एंटनी से मुलाकात की थी। कुछ टीवी चैनलों के अनुसार राहुल गांधी इस बात से नाराज थे कि देशमुख को नए मुख्यमंत्री के चुनाव तक समय दिया जा रहा था। उसके बाद श्री देशमुख के इस्तीफे पर फैसले की दिशा में गतिविधियां तेज हो गयी। कांग्रेस के अन्य बड़े नेताओं ने देशमुख की स्थिति पर बैठक की, सोनिया गांधी को इसकी जानकारी दी और फिर श्री एंटनी ने देशमुख का इस्तीफा स्वीकार कर लिये जाने की घोषणा कर दी। श्री एटंनी ने श्रीमती गांधी के आवास दस जनपथ के बाहर पत्रकारों को बताया कि श्री देशमुख का इस्तीफा स्वीकार कर लिया गया है और उन्हें इसे राज्यपाल को सौंपने के लिये कहा गया है। उन्होंने कहा कि नये नेता के चुनाव के लिये गुरुवार मुंबई में पार्टी के केन्द्रीय पर्यवेक्षक मुंबई जाकर पार्टी विधायकों से विचार विमर्श के बाद श्री देशमुख के उत्तराधिकारी के बारे में निर्णय लेगें।विलासराव देशमुख दूसरी बार महाराष्ट्र के मुख्यमंत्री पद से निकाले गए हैं। इससे पहले 2003 में उन्हें सिर्फ तीन वर्ष के कार्यकाल के बाद विवादों के कारण हटा दिया गया था। इस बार भी वे कार्यकाल पूरा नहीं कर पाए और चार साल बाद पद से हटा दिए गए।

Rahul was not shot from close range: FSL

MUMBAI: Forensic experts have given a clean chit to the police team which shot dead Rahul Raj, a Patna resident who hijacked a BEST bus at Kurla on
October 26. There was a political uproar following the shooting and some Bihar politicians had alleged that the youth was shot dead in cold blood. The state government then launched a formal inquiry into the shooting. TOI has a copy of the Forensic Sciences Laboratory (FSL) report, which was submitted to the police commissioner on Friday. It will be forwarded to the state home department. The chemical analysis report said that there was absence of blackening and powder residue around the periphery of bullet holes on Raj's skin. It further says that the injuries are far "beyond the powder range of the weapon''. This means that the bullets were fired from a distance of at least four to five metres. The three firearms -- a 303 rifle and two 9 mm pistols -- from which the bullets were shot at Rahul, were sent for ballistic examination. The ballistic expert report which is also attached with this report says that the police weapons were in perfect working condition, ruling out the theory that the firing was from close range. Four bullets, all fired from pistols, hit Rahul on his chest and face. The FSL expert also examined the BEST bus frame which was pierced by some bullets in the exchange of fire. "After examining everything in minute detail, it is now concluded that the police team fired from a safe distance of around five metres and above,'' said an FSL official on condition of anonymity. The officials of Grant Medical College also told chief secretary Johny Joseph during the inquiry that prima facie, Raj was not shot from pointblank or close range. Rahul Raj, who had held the BEST bus passenger hostage on October 26, on Andheri Kurla road was gunned down by the police. Rahul Raj had claimed that he had come to kill MNS chief Raj Thackeray over latter's drive against Biharis. Rahul had tried to strangulate the bus conductor and had even fired two rounds in which a passenger Manoj Bhagat received a bullet injury. A day after the post-mortem, Dr B G Chikhalkar, part of the post-mortem team, had said there was a dark mark around the bullet injury on the face, indicative of the fact that the bullet was fired from close range. But Dr Chikhalkar, who had repeated this statement on TV, soon retracted what he had said.

Government to Develop Food Park in Bihar

Bihar Agriculture Minister Nagmani, at a meeting with the Animal Husbandry and Fishery Department officials on Tuesday, said the government was working on a Rs. 1,600 crore plan to develop a food park in the state that would include food preservators, processing units and other facilities to improve storage and transportation of perishable items in the state.While the government would develop the infrastructure for the park, private companies would install the processing units, the minister said.Ram Narayan Mandal, the Animal and Fishery Minister, in his address highlighted the need for close cooperation between the agriculture, animal husbandry, cooperative, and irrigation departments in order to advance the agricultural sector in the state.Mandal also talked about the measures taken by the fishery department to raise the production throughout the state by adopting scientific techniques used in other developed states.Others who were present at the meeting included the principal of the Bihar Veterinary College Dr. Siya Ram Singh, chairperson of the Kisan Commission Ramadhar Singh, Bihar Agricultural Management and Extension Training Institute (BAMETI) director Dr. R. K. Sohane, Agricultural Technology Management Agency (ATMA) nodal officer R. P. Singh, Fishery department director Raghunandan Chowdhary, Agriculture Director Dr. B. Rajendra, Fishery department joint secretary B. P. Sharma, among others.

BJP Youth Activists Burn PM's Effigy

Activists of the Bhartiya Janata Party (BJP) Yuva Morcha in Patna on Wednesday burnt the effigy of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh accusing him and the UPA government at the Center of adopting pro-terrorist policies and fomenting anti-Hindu sentiments to seize Muslim votes for the upcoming Lok Sabha elections.Calling Singh a sympathizer of Islamic terrorists supported by the Pakistani government, the protestors at the Dak Bungalow Crossing said the UPA government was playing with fire by insisting on destroying the Ram Setu."On one hand, the Sonia government is blocking the execution of convicted terrorist Afzal Guru, on the other hand it continues to walk all over the Hindu sentiments on Ram Setu and Amarnath Shrine issue," said Atul Kumar, the vice president of the BJP Yuva Morcha.Prem Ranjan Patel, the BJP legislator, accused the UPA government of indulging in Muslim appeasement politics to garner support in the next general elections."We are not going to roll over and play dead while Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi trample all over our religious sentiments and beliefs while continuing to appease Muslims for pure political purposes," Patel said.

Police Nabs Five Hardcore Criminals

The police in Patna on Thursday, acting on a tip-off, nabbed five dreaded criminals wanted in a number of murder, robbery, and kidnapping cases in Patna, Hajipur, Fatuha, and Phulwarisharif, Town DSP Sanjay Singh said.As reported, Kishore Prasad of Jakkanpur, Rajkishore of Punpun, Jitendra Dubey a.k.a. Baba of Hajipur, Mikki of Kurthaul, and Bablu of Gaurichak had gathered near the water tank in Anta Ghat under Gandhi Maidan police station with the intention to abduct an affluent person coming out of posh Bankipore Club.Their nefarious scheme, however, came down crashing when a special task force led by Gandhi Maidan police station in-charge Nissar Ahmed surrounded the area and arrested the five men without any incident.A 9mm pistol, cartridges, and two cell phones were seized from their possession, the police said.The five men also confessed of hatching plans to rob a food warehouse near Rajendra Nagar overbridge, a kerosene shop owner in Hajipur, and a businessman in Pirmuhani area in Patna.The criminals also admitted of killing a hardware shop owner in Jakkanpur area, killing the son of Phulwari resident Vijay Yadav, murdering Hajipur resident Qayumuddin Ansari, and pulling off several extortion attempts in Patna and elsewhere

Farmers' Fair Opens at Gandhi Maidan

Amidst the presence of thousands of farmers from across the state, Chief Minister Nitish Kumar on Thursday inaugurated the Kisan Mela at Patna's Gandhi Maidan and gave away high-quality seeds of wheat, dal, and chana to the farmers.Kumar, in his keynote speech, once again reiterated his dream of having a food item from Bihar in each and every single kitchen or dining table of the nation."This is not a daydream; it is quite achievable if we continue to follow the guidelines as set in the Agricultural Road Map as devised by our administration," he said adding Bihar would achieve its goal of 'Rainbow Revolution' by 2015 making the state self-sufficient in food production while also emerging as one of the largest exporters of rice, wheat, and other staple items to other states.The Chief Minister also admonished the cold storage owners in the wake of thousands of kilograms of potatoes going bad prompting the Opposition leaders to wage a war on the Nitish government for being 'reckless' and 'ignoring the interests of the farmers'."We will take harsh actions against all cold storage owners for failing to protect potatoes thus causing immense financial loss to many farmers," Kumar said.Taking a shot at the Opposition leaders, the Chief Minister said that he had no intention of getting into a shouting match with his opponents who, he said, had nothing much to do but to oppose every move of the ruling government."I will continue to work for the people of Bihar without worrying about my distracters. It is not that I cannot give them a befitting reply; it is just that my goal is to put Bihar back on the path of development after what my immediate predecessors did to our state," he said.Deputy Chief Minister Sushil Kumar Modi and Agriculture Minister Nagmani were also present at the occasion.