UNEQUAL PARTNERS

" Walking up is hard to do but if the urban Indian Man doesn't want to lose his wife. It's time he did, Marraige seems to have given him a licence to thrill, Even as it seems to have caged the woman's spirit. [55% Men Prefer the man on Top position while 19% like the women being on top.]

They were young, educated, and both virgins on this, their wedding night, and they lived in a time when conversation about sexual difficulties was plainly difficult. But it is never easy.

Ian McEwan was writing about a couple in 1962 Englandin "On Chesil Beach"(he, er, arrives too soon in bed and she runs away in disgust), but he may well be speaking of thousands of contemporary marriages in India. The INDIA TODAY AC Nielsen-ORG-MARG Survey of Urban Marriage. If love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence, then the Urban Indian marriage is the victory of opportunity over occasion. Greater infidelity on the part of men, increasing resistance of the woman to coercive sex, even the lessening appeal of the woman post marriage are all indicative of a relationship under tremendous strain. The men and women are at odds with each other, not just in the act but also in attitude, creating an unequal partnership where there should be comfot- giving compatibility. While 52% of the men say they have sex thrice a week, only 27% of the women agree, a yawning gap not explained entirely by the man's braggadocio. What's more, 39% of the women are bored with sex in marriage. Almost 40% of the married women said their partner's pleasure was more important than their own. Such timidity in the bedroom seems to have emboldened the men believe it is, their marital right to have sex, again consistent with the response in 2004. As for women professionals in nuclear families, they have it bad both ways, points out sociologist Shiv Visvanathan, lacking both the protection of the joint family and being subjected to husbands who seem to be distracted by the seductions of the city.

None of the traditional stereotypes seem to have changed, especially when it comes to men. More than half the men interviewed believe housewives have better married lives compared to working women. While 48% of working women think that housewives won't necessarily have better married lives. Add to the act of sex itself being hasty (70% spend less than 10 minutes on foreplay compared to a majority of American couples spemding over 25 minutes making love) and where exactly does that leave the principle of the lesure in marriage? more preciselu where does that leave marriage, still over whelmingly arranged for Indians who cearly sem to regard the institution as a family rather than an individual unit? Especially when the survey shows that the family that stays together doesn't stray- couples who live in jount families tend to have more sex than those in nuclear families.

Clearly, the woman's sentiments have outstripped her circumstances. If in the 2003 survey 57% of the wimen said an orgasm was important for their sexual fulfilment, now a mere 28% say they always hace an orgasm. Yet, they are more open to foreplay and ae also willing to talk about it thes year. From 27% women in 2003 pleadng ignorance about foreplay, only 11% didn't know about it today.

• 50 % OF COUPLES BELIEVE SEX IS A SOURCE OF PLEASURE.
• 26 % OF COUPLES WHO HAD LOVE MARRIAGES ADMITTED HAVING EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS.

Anti-Thackeray Feelings

Anti-Thackeray Feelings Continues to Grow in Bihar

Anger directed towards Maharashtra Navnirman Sena leader Raj Thackeray spilled over into the weekend as several private and political groups in Patna on Saturday burnt the effigies of the separatist Marathi leader for making uncharitable remarks towards Bihar's most revered festival Chhath.The women's wing of the Rashtriya Janata Dal (RJD), demanding arrest of Thackeray for trying to divide the nation on regional basis, burnt his effigy at the Income Tax roundabout.Members of the state Samajwadi Party (Students' wing) also burnt Thackeray's effigy while calling him a bigot and a racist."This man, like his uncle, has completely lost his mind and the only place for him is to keep him confined either in a jail or a mental institution," said the students' leader Ranjit Kumar.Meanwhile, Lok Janshakti Party (LJP) leaders, at a party meet on Saturday, condemned Thackeray's anti-Bihar statement saying Chhath was even more important to Biharis than the Ganesh Utsav was to Maharashtrians. "How would Thackeray and his ilk feel if we said the entire Ganesh festival in Maharashtra was a drama?" asked party state general secretary Vijay Kumar Singh."Thackeray must apologize to Biharis worldwide for hurting their religious sentiments and if he failed to do so, we will take our agitation from the streets of Patna to the streets of Mumbai because Maharashtra is not the personal property of Thackeray, his equally-deranged uncle or any other person for that matter," said Singh.As reported before, Thackeray, during his usual rant against non-Maharashtrians in Maharashtra a few days ago that has earned him the title of Ayatollah of Maharashtra, among many others not suitable for publication, had said that Chhath was more of a drama and had no religious relevance.His statement sparked a statewide protest with leaders like Nitish Kumar, Lalu Prasad Yadav, and Ram Vilas Paswan showing complete unanimity in condemning Thackeray.In his zeal to grab the title of the 'godfather of Mumbai' from his ailing uncle Bal Thackeray, the separatist leader also took the Hindi film superstar Amitabh Bachchan to task saying that the fact he was acting as the brand ambassador of Uttar Pradesh, Bachchan was betraying the state of Maharashtra that gave him food, roof, money, and fame.

Threaten Bhojpuri Star

Raj Thackeray's Goons Threaten Bhojpuri Star

Alleged goons on the payroll of separatist Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) leader Raj Thackeray, on Monday, issued threats to Bhojpuri film star Manoj Tiwari in Mumbai ordering him to stay from a rally organized at Shivaji Park in Dadar 'or face dire consequences', reports from Mumbai said.A spokesperson for Tiwari, Shashikant Singh said this was the second threat issued to the Bhojpuri star in less than 24 hours, each time the caller asking him to not attend the rally though that did not deter Tiwari from attending the rally that was anything but political.Tiwari who, besides being an actor, is also a decent singer, performed on the stage amidst moderate security."I am an entertainer, not a politician and as such, I should not be associated with any particular political party," Tiwari is said to have told the maker of the threatening call.Also on Monday, Raj Thackeray's henchmen in Mumbai on Monday clashed with Samajwadi Party workers and beat up taxi drivers from Bihar and Uttar Pradesh.Meanwhile in Patna, a number of protests were organized to condemn Raj Thackeray and what he stands for.Effigies of the idiot-in-chief, as many leaders in Bihar described the MNS leader, were burnt and protests were organized by nearly all political parties including the Rashtriya Janata Dal (RJD), Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), Congress, Janata Dal – U, Samajwadi Party, and even Shiv Sena, the parent organization of Thackeray, that demanded arrest of Raj Thackeray and a public condemnation of his actions and words by the Prime Minister of India Manmohan Singh.As reported earlier, Thackeray, the nephew of Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray, had said that Chhath, Bihar's most revered festival, was more of a drama and had no religious relevance.In a related development, a Patna court on Monday heard a petition filed against Thackeray by a Patna resident Vidya Kumari who is seeking arrest of the MNS chief for spreading communal hatred and insulting the religious sentiments of the people of Bihar, Jharkhand, and Uttar Pradesh.After hearing the arguments by the prosecution presented by senior lawyers Arvind Kumar and K. D. Mishra, the court adjourned until February 13.

Nitish lashes out

Nitish lashes out at Raj Thackeray

Shedding his usual persona of a mild-mannered politician, Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar on Monday took a tough stance on the controversy concerning Raj Thackeray stating Mumbai would be destroyed if the so-called 'outsiders' were kicked out of Maharashtra as Thackeray had been promoting since his unceremonious departure from the Shiv Sena.Calling the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena chief a 'devil-incarnate', Kumar, during a press conference following his weekly Janata Durbar in Patna, reminded Thackeray that Mumbai or Maharashtra was not anyone's personal property and each citizen of India was well within his or her right to live and earn a living in any part of the country without fear of any backlash based on religion or region.The Chief Minister asked the Maharashtra government to take stern measures against Thackeray 'before it is too late'."While I think there is no need of it yet, if needed, however, I will not hesitate in taking up this issue with the Home Ministry. Thackeray's actions are clear instances of attempts to disturb peace in the nation and such acts must be nipped in the bud," he said adding a man (Thackeray) who did not know the ABC of the Indian culture, it was too much to expect from him to understand the religious importance of Chhath.Other leaders in Bihar also lashed out at Thackeray showering him with names like idiot, bigot, racist, Nazi, and 'shaitaan'.Congress leader Kripanath Pathak, Nationalist Congress Party (NCP) general secretary Mrityunjay Kumar, Janata Dal – U leader Vijaya Singh, and Shiv Sena leader Arun Kumar Gupta and leaders of the Muslim United Front called for Thackeray's arrest while burning his effigy at various places in the state capital.

Ajit Sarkar

Verdict on Ajit Sarkar Murder Case on Feb. 14

A special CBI Court in Patna on Monday, after hearing the closing arguments from both defense and prosecution teams, set February 14 as the date for announcing the verdict in the decade-old Ajit Sarkar murder case in which the then Rashtriya Janata Dal (RJD) MP Pappu Yadav, former legislator Rajan Tiwari, and Anil Yadav remain the key accused.While Tiwari and Yadav, who currently make Patna's Beur Jail their homes, were present during the hearing, Pappu Yadav, who remains incarcerated at Delhi's Tihar Jail, could not make his virtual appearance due to technical snag in the video-conferencing equipment.During the hearing in the court of special CBI judge Virendra Mohan Srivastava, Mumbai's prominent advocate Majid Menon presented the classic argument saying his client, Pappu Yadav, was innocent and was falsely implicated in the case.The defense represented by the CBI advocate Rakesh Kumar, however, said that based on the witnesses accounts, it was an open and shut case against Yadav and the other two key accused.The case relates to the gunning down of Communist Party of India – Marxist leader Ajit Kumar and two others on June 14, 1998 in Purnia.The court also ordered the Tihar Jail Superintendent to produce Pappu Yadav in Patna court on February 14.

Free Diabetic

Free Diabetic, Obesity Camp in Patna

Rotary Pataliputra in Patna on Sunday organized a free diabetic, neuropathy, obesity with BMI (Body Mass Index) check-up camp at the Diwakar Tejaswi Clinic at Hari Narayan Complex on Exhibition Road providing free consulting and medicines to over 90 patients suffering from diabetes and obesity.Besides Dr. Tejaswi, the camp was also assisted by Dr. K. K. Saran, Dr. Kiran Saran and Dr. Deepika Tejaswi. During his lecture, Dr. Diwakar Tejaswi said that the world first came to know about diabetes through research in India which also happens to be the home of the 40% of the entire population worldwide that suffers from the disease.Dr. Tejaswi said that though diabetes was largely responsible for obesity, renal and heart ailments, it could be controlled if diagnosed early. Rotarian Anil Sharaf, PHF, President, emphasized the importance of such camps and appealed to the people to get early check-ups to prevent any major physical problem in future.Vinod Chaudhary, Chetan Kapoor, B. K. Pachisia, N. K. Agarwal, Sachchidanand, R. K. Jaiswal and Subodh Jain, all members of Rotary Pataliputra, also took active part in the camp.

NASA Scientist

NASA Scientist Inspires Patna Students

Senior NASA scientist Anita Prakash, during a lecture at the Ramanuj School of Mathematics in Patna on Saturday said there was no reason why the students could not reach their potential if they just set their minds to attain their goals."The question is, are you willing to do something great? If your answer is yes then there is nothing that could stop you from achieving your goal. Impediments will come in your way but you will be able to overcome them easily as long as you have the determination and tenacity to stay focused and do your best to attain your dreams," Prakash said.Prakash is also one of the project managers of the NASA's plan to send a manned flight to the moon in 2010.Noted brain surgeon from the United States Dr. Vinita Singh also talked to the students and urged them to continue to pursue their dreams despite all difficulties that may come in their ways.Patna's own renowned mathematician Anand Kumar who was managing the event said that such lectures by prominent personalities were inspiring to the students and helped them build their self-confidence.

NASA Scientist Inspires Patna Students

Senior NASA scientist Anita Prakash, during a lecture at the Ramanuj School of Mathematics in Patna on Saturday said there was no reason why the students could not reach their potential if they just set their minds to attain their goals."The question is, are you willing to do something great? If your answer is yes then there is nothing that could stop you from achieving your goal. Impediments will come in your way but you will be able to overcome them easily as long as you have the determination and tenacity to stay focused and do your best to attain your dreams," Prakash said.Prakash is also one of the project managers of the NASA's plan to send a manned flight to the moon in 2010.Noted brain surgeon from the United States Dr. Vinita Singh also talked to the students and urged them to continue to pursue their dreams despite all difficulties that may come in their ways.Patna's own renowned mathematician Anand Kumar who was managing the event said that such lectures by prominent personalities were inspiring to the students and helped them build their self-confidence.

Business Fair

Business Fair Extended by a Week

The administration in Patna on Saturday announced its decision to extend the National Business Expo Fair organized by the National Industrial and Consumer Exhibition (NICE) and Bihar Women's Industries Association by a week with it now ending on February 11 instead of February 4.The announcement was made at a joint press conference addressed by the NICE director Shabbir Ahmed and fair organizer Rishi Raj who said the decision to extend the fair by one week came after losing 3-4 days due to the recent Bihar bandh called by the opposition parties and rain and chill in last few days.Since the fair reopened last week, it has seen a surge in the number of visitors encouraging the organizers to keep the fair alive for an extra week without penalizing the vendors for an extra week rent, Ahmed said.